Lettera all'Home Office

Questo e' il testo della lettera che ho inviato tempo fa all'Home Office - il ministero degli Interni inglese, che si occupa anche di questioni come immigrazione e cittadinanza; l'ho anche mandata per conoscenza al Times.

Sir,

as a foreign citizen, is there any chance that, if I promise to blow up a few Tube carriages in the next few years, I could receive the same benefits that were accorded to the 7/7 and 21/7 bombers?
One of the bombers - Mohammed Sidiqe Khan, i believe, but I might be wrong - received a handsome lump sum to buy a house, and frankly, my wife has her eyes on a very nice property in Finchley and is giving me hell - you know women. A lump sum to use as a deposit would be a real Godsend. Uh, Allahsend. Whatever.
I should add that I feel heavily discriminated against only because I am mostly sane, and I might decide to sue if my request is refused.
In case you should decide to accept my request, i have a few questions on the conditions for the benefits. Does it have to be a SUICIDE bombing? Does it have to be successful? I mean, the bombers of 21/7 won't have to give their benefits back only because it was a dud, will they?

Thank you in advance

Eugenio Mastroviti
XXX Xxxxx Road
London N2 XXX
Tel. 020XXXXXXXX

P.S. In case you should decide to send SO19 to the above address, PLEASE mind the mountain bike in the corridor.

L'SO19 citato nella lettera e' il reparto speciale antiterrorismo di Scotland Yard, quei tizi che si vedono in TV con caschi neri in kevlar, passamontagna e mitragliette.
Per il momento non ho ricevuto risposta. Peccato. Quelle 23.000 sterline mi avrebbero fatto davvero comodo.